DO YOU DREAM BIG?? I always have, but for quite some time those dreams shrunk. I…

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DO YOU DREAM BIG?? I always have, but for quite some time those dreams shrunk. I lived in a shrunken state. From the quantity of food I consumed to the little girl’s sized jeans I wore to the world I lived in…I shrank my opportunities, my network of support, my time with the ones I loved. All because I wanted to feel small, to feel safe, because in some screwed up sense this made me feel “powerful.” Seems like an oxymoron, because IT WAS! I had no power left…I couldn’t even walk up a set of stairs without feeling pain. THREE years ago I had enough. I got scared that I would end up in a casket. I walked into a new therapist’s office and didn’t say much of anything for quite some time…I didn’t have much brain power to make sense of what was going to happen, but I SHOWED UP. I knew I had to gain weight…what I didn’t know was what that meant. Without claiming my space, regaining my power I wouldn’t be where I am today. My body had to get healthy again, and in order to do that I had to physically grow, but with that physical growth came a strength I never knew I had…sometimes you don’t realize what you don’t have until all of a sudden you have it. About a year ago, my therapist said “You WANT to take up more space in this world, because you’re a dreamer, a doer, and it’s time you claim that space.” Her words hit me…at that time I had restored my weight, and the anxiety/paranoia had disappeared…it was only me who was holding myself back. So I did it! Everything I yearned for I began going for…my business ventures, intimate relationships…I stopped waiting! And guess what? All of a sudden these things were attainable, BECAUSE I WAS HEALTHY. I made the CHOICE! Celebrating a three year victory today. NO, it is not always easy, but YES it is always worth it. My advice: if there is something you want to change or do: GO FOR IT RIGHT NOW! Life is too damn short to wait.

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Bette

My name is Bette. I'm a 34 year old female from Turkey. My occupation is a website designer and I work from a home office. I have struggled with my weight since puberty. Still figuring out.

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