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Have you ever found yourself standing in line at the grocery store, staring at the sea of checkout lanes, wondering which one will move the fastest? We’ve all been there, my friends. It’s a universal struggle that most of us have experienced at one time or another.

I mean, seriously, why does it always seem like we pick the wrong lane? The one with the person trying to pay with exact change or the one where the cashier needs a price check on every single item. It’s like we have a sixth sense for choosing the slowest lane, am I right?

But fear not, dear readers, for there are strategies to help navigate the treacherous waters of the checkout lane. For example, always avoid the lane with the elderly woman who insists on writing a check for her groceries. Or steer clear of the lane with the person who is clearly paying with a bag full of loose change. Trust me on this one, folks.

And let’s not forget about the dreaded self-checkout lanes. Sure, they may seem like a time-saving option, but we all know that they can quickly turn into a nightmare if you happen to be behind someone who has never used one before. Cue the error messages and frantic waving of arms.

So the next time you find yourself faced with the daunting task of choosing a checkout lane, just remember this column and take a deep breath. You’ve got this, my friends. And who knows, maybe you’ll even find yourself in the fastest lane for once. Just don’t hold your breath.